Loneliness is not a bug with a technological solution

Posted on 1 May 2014 by Ros Coward

Helping elderly people to use the internet is a good idea. But let’s not mistake broadband connections for social ones.

In the UK, four out of 10 over-65s do not have internet access. At a time when so much of our lives is conducted online – the payment of bills, access to information – that should be a real source of concern about potential social exclusion.

But does this mean that by widening internet access, elderly people will feel more socially connected? Or, even, more radically, as a new report suggests, could this be a solution for loneliness in old age?

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/28/loneliness-technological-elderly-internet-broadband

Why envy is toxic

Posted on 28 April 2014 by Ros Coward

A very wise friend who was also a psychotherapist had just listened to my litany of complaints about a female colleague. I was bothered by how little interest she took in things I had done, how little acknowledgement of my work, and most of all by her constant put downs and snide remarks about activities I was involved with. ‘Envy’ said my friend. ‘Classic envious behaviour. She doesn’t want you to have anything and what you have got she wants to spoil.’

It was obvious that the two of us might be competitive. We were in the same area of work, both trying to publish in the same outlets with children roughly the same age who had taken remarkably similar pathways. And while competitiveness is nothing to be proud of in such a situation – after all we could just become best friends with similar interests – nor is it that unusual, especially in an unsupportive work environment. But as my psychotherapist friend pointed out, envy is different from competitiveness .Competitiveness, at its worse, might entail flaunting your latest news and achievements, showing off, or trying to have or be the best. But envy is destructive. Envy isn’t just about trying to go one better. Envy is a grudge-bearing emotion, arising from wanting to spoil what the other person has or enjoys, including any good feelings they might have about their achievements.

Read the full article on the new website:

http://welldoing.org/envy-toxic/

Flight MH370: our morbid fascination is with the people, not the mystery

Posted on 21 March 2014 by Ros Coward

XXA rescue mission for the relatives is now as urgent as for those on board the missing plane.

Two weeks into the search for the missing Malaysian jet, the manager of the agency co-ordinating the search for debris has raised a hope that those on board might still be alive. “We want to find these objects because they might be the best lead to where we might find people to be rescued,” he said. The effect of these words on the relatives, most of whom are still waiting in hotels, is painful to imagine. While the general public exchange amazed theories about the mystery, the relatives’ situation is the nearest one can imagine to a living hell.

Read the full article:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/mar/21/flight-mh370-fascination-mystery-relatives

After Leveson: a wider lens on privacy

Posted on 1 January 2014 by Ros Coward

Fascination with people’s lives is natural, and journalism has changed. We need a more nuanced debate on press intrusion.

Does William and Kate’s baby actually exist? You could be forgiven for wondering, given how few times George has actually been seen: he wasn’t there again for the Sandringham Christmas walkabout. With only two public appearances, and one family snap, he may be the least-seen royal baby of the photographic era. Presumably he is occasionally pushed outside the gates of the Middleton family home, but there are no paparazzi to snap him. These are post-Leveson days and there has been no greater beneficiary than the royal family, around whose privacy the press now gently treads.

George’s invisibility is in startling contrast to the coverage of William and Harry’s early years. By the mid-80s, tabloids were eagerly snapping away and speculating on everything they saw: whether or not Diana was breastfeeding, and who the nannies and playdates were. Diana played along, often co-operating with the press to allow casual and intimate photos.

Committed republicans probably welcome this invisibility: the less we hear about this boring family the better. But invisibility and mystique in fact serve monarchist causes far more effectively than public scrutiny.

Read full article;

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/01/privacy-media-leveson-royal-family

Diana, rewritten and erased

Posted on 8 November 2013 by Ros Coward

Sniggers over the recent biopic are part of a greater perception of Princess Diana herself – as an embarrassment to be forgotten.

The Princess Diana biopic has bombed in the US, making only the equivalent of £40,000 from initial screenings in 38 cinemas in its first weekend. It is tempting to conclude that America has finally fallen out of love with Diana. But much more likely is that potential audiences were deterred by the panning the film has received on both sides of the Atlantic.

I kept away from the film when it was released in British cinemas for precisely the same reason: it sounded cringe-making. Yet even as I kept away, I was puzzled by the wall-to-wall contempt it had provoked. Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, writing in the Independent on Sunday, found the critical sniggering excessive too; was it, she asked, because some elements of the story, especially Diana’s intimacy with a Pakistani doctor, were still unsettling?

For full story:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/08/diana-rewritten-erased-film-princess-embarrassment

The problem with nursing homes lies in our uncaring work culture

Posted on 19 October 2013 by Ros Coward

Moving my mother into a home wasn’t easy, but Jeremy Hunt’s Chinese peasant model is not the answer.

My mother went into a nursing home earlier this year. Contrary to Jeremy Hunt’s suggestion that people casually consign elderly relations to care homes rather than caring for them themselves, it was one of the most painful decisions I’ve ever taken. Judging from others I met in the same situation, my feelings were typical. No one takes these decisions lightly. As it turned out, my mother’s move was far less painful for her than for her family. At the care home she was embraced by a loving and stable staff who worked hard to settle her in. By contrast we had to discover fast just how little support, financial or otherwise, there is for our elderly people.

Read full article:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/oct/19/mother-home-lonely-jeremy-hunt-elderly-people-care

The Language of Wolves

Posted on 4 March 2013 by Ros Coward

What’s at stake in wolf conservation? It isn’t just the survival of the species but the survival of wilderness

“Beware the wolves of Chiantishire,” warned a recent Daily Mail headline. Tuscany’s “idyllic landscape of rolling fields and poplar-lined hills”, the article continued, which in the past “proved irresistible to the great, the good and the very rich”, have in recent months become “home to a savage predator – packs of marauding wolves which are growing increasingly brazen”. Politicians in Chianti-country, we are told, “have called on the government to take action. There are growing fears that the wolves could attack humans.”

Even by the Daily Mail’s usual standards of scaremongering, this scenario is pushing it. In spite of their mythically savage status, proven attacks on humans by wolves are very small in number: globally since 2000 there have only been around 20 confirmed attacks. By comparison, in an average year there are 26 deaths caused by domestic dogs in the United States alone. The risk to humans of an unprovoked attack by a wolf is minuscule in comparison, even taking into account the vastly greater number of dogs.

http://www.resurgence.org/magazine/article3945-the-language-of-wolves.html

Inside the hospital that’s leading a kindness revolution: Concluding our series on the crisis of compassion in nursing

Posted on 12 February 2013 by Ros Coward

You might expect Ward B47 to be a depressing place.

The majority of patients are aged over 80 and the expectation is that 30 per cent will have passed away after three months.

All have mental health issues such as dementia, Alzheimer’s or confusion.

Full article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2277169/Inside-hospital-thats-leading-kindness-revolution-Concluding-series-crisis-compassion-nursing.html

Aged 94, and frail as a china doll, Sophia struggled to get out of bed. ‘Come on!’ said the nurse. ‘You’re just being lazy’

Posted on 11 February 2013 by Ros Coward

On Saturday, in the first part of an uncompromising investigation into nursing in NHS hospitals, Ros Coward asked why so many nurses seem to have stopped caring for their patients. Today, in the wake of the damning report into Stafford Hospital, she suggests the troubling answer…

Sarah Allen is in her 20s.

After a recent asthma attack, she found herself in an unusual situation when she was admitted to a ward in a large London hospital where the other patients were mainly elderly, and several were suffering from dementia.

There, she was able to see for herself whether the terrible stories of patient neglect in the NHS — which have become so common in recent years — were true.

What she saw shocked her.

Full article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2276796/Aged-94-frail-china-doll-Sophia-struggled-bed-Come-said-nurse-Youre-just-lazy.html

Why have so many nurses stopped CARING? An investigation into the crisis-hit NHS

Posted on 9 February 2013 by Ros Coward

Robert Francis QC’s report was merely the latest damning indictment
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt warned that cruelty and neglect had become normal in some hospitals and care homes

My 89-year-old mother has suffered with dementia for the past seven years. Over that time she has been in and out of hospital. Some of her care has been excellent, but some has been shocking.

Once, when she collapsed, she was taken to Kingston Hospital, in South-West London. After a long and stressful evening in A&E, a bed was eventually found for her at midnight.

What a relief, I thought — she was safe and I could go home. As I stooped to whisper goodbye, a nurse shoved something in my face. ‘Sign this,’ she said bluntly. It was a form to absolve the hospital for any loss of my mother’s valuables.

Full article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2275943/NHS-Why-nurses-stopped-CARING.html